Another KK pack before I leave for the holiday!

 Did Cecilia, Alena, Rhea, and Noemi&Phoebe this round.  Mostly happy with them myself but always want your feedback.  Alena is the only one with really significant changes, I didn't care for her 3dcg model.  Rhea got a bit of a clothing change to show off the Tenta marking on her back. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Q3O3YQqhpHNeI1jDAWs2DaeMkDWxvRM_/view?usp=sharing

More KK models

 Still working out some new models using KK, it does feel a bit closer to 3dcg and while the tools aren't *quite* as strong, I'm getting some decent images out of it.  So recreated Donna, Sarah, Angelica, and Kathleen (Kargan's request) and redid an old scene with them.  As always, I'd love your feedback on the new models and pose styles.

My initial reactions- 

Donna is good, she's a bit babyfaced but that might just be a consistent KK style.  

For Sarah KK doesn't do side tattoos well so I moved her to a tramp stamp and arm sleeve for body tats, she seems the sort for a whale-tail as well.  Might be too modern. 

For Angelica I'm fairly happy overall, tried to give her an eye-glow under power.  Let me know how that worked out.  I can bring it up if necessary, even turning her eyes into spotlights if needbe :)

Kathleen got changed quite a bit, her character was mostly undone when her model was created.  She turned out to be one of the most sexually-forward women in the game and I gave her a outfit more fitting to that persona.  You can see it in her first frame, her hair being down is appropriate to the scene but she'll usually still have the tight braids.

Did a few different eyes for the magic; Sarah used a overall filter, Donna a pixel gradient, and Angelica an emission glow.  Let me know which you all would prefer. 

Download

repack with rtp

Further experiments with different engines.

I've spent my free time in the last couple of weeks playing around with a few different imaging programs, both Honey Select 2.  I'll agree that HS2 isn't as appropriate for the RPG maker style but the power of the engine is absolutely amazing coming from 3dcg.  And our women finally have noses... actual noses!  Did Alena and Vanessa scenes that stay fairly close to the 3dcg designs (ignore Nicole's model, that is very much WiP).  I decided to change Adeline's model significantly, having such a visually striking model for a master disguise artist/assassin didn't make much sense so redid her.  Really like the new model personally, she's more she has a bit more of an androgynous look now that makes her very unique among the harem.  But still is all woman for the people always disturbed by Laura.

I also gave KoiKatsu another try, this time the older KK instead of KKS which seems to have significantly better mod support.  Still far less than HS2 but possibly enough for me to function with, particularly as I learn to use overlays to do the body markings that are important to Harem's story.  Started with Jessica (dunno, has become a personal fave of mine recently), her dark tram scene just to get a handle on KK's maps and controls.  Did Terra's reconcile (c4 light to dark route) scene to test out some of the overlays and did Sam and Terra with Aries to work more with the male models (neither of those are anywhere near complete.

As always, would love your feedback.  Focus on the models themselves, I'm sure I'll get plenty of comparative feedback between the two engines regardless.  That will likely be decided by a poll that I'll create if I decide to work on Harem again, as opposed to me just playing around now.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17RB3QEgZEf2NtHb3arGEKOgqPL9TTmE7/view

 

Personally things are going fantastic for me.  Back in school, going to finally finish my Bachelors after many years and am looking into various grant programs to earn various medical technical programs that sound very interesting to me.  And would be quite lucrative.  Spending so much time with the family again has been fantastic for my mental health as well.

Experimental pack 1 updated

 So I'm continuing to play around with the imaging software and have mostly settled on HS2.  KKS is a bit closer to the 3dcg style but still significantly different and is missing a few creative tools that would make a night and day difference in workflow.  Ditto for COM3D2 but the mod support there is massively shorter in mods, particularly in tattoos and body markings which Harem used extensively.  I'm still listening on the imager topic; but unless the imager has a solid static studio and pose manager, overlay system, and inline map editor HS2 is likely to win.

From the feedback on the first set of trial scenes I did and have an updated version with some model changes and new scenes.

Experimental 1.2

 -Fixed a fixed poor picture calls, should follow scene better
-Revised Noemi, Terra and Jessica models, feedback please
-Added scenes for Cecilia, Rhea, and Angelica.  Again, feedback please

I know that some of the text doesn't match events, like Angelica grabbing carpet on a wooden floor.  Don't report those, these aren't replacement scenes.
Lighting before Terra is bad, still learning that system.  And Angelica's hair is too plasticy.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1RC3sARf6c0XqLe65zTWbHuJ3QNZwlccy/view?usp=sharing

 

Also working on a few new models, the feedback cycle has been useful to revising models.  Both here and in discord.  Keep them coming, and keep them constructive!  I have Vanessa and Alena model scenes started, would be open to suggestions for two more slots for the 2nd set of scenes.  

Experimental scenes

When I came back, I said it would be quite a while before I would/could decide if I would return to developing Harem.  Part of that is me figuring out if I even can do so, I deleted my 3dcg installation before my attempt and much of it is irreplaceable.  While I community member did offer their copy and I do have some mods from it still stored, I have lost many of the mods, and all of the models and scenes used to create the game.

So I’ve been looking into different, more modern, imaging programs.  I played a bit with the COM3D2 and wasn’t especially impressed with the variation of models it can create and the size of the mod community.  Tried HS2 and was far more impressed with both its modding community and studio program.  While stylistically it’s far from the VX ACE design and 3dcg, the results are very good.  I’ve always been very sensitive to uncanny valley issues in imagers but so far I’ve been able to clear the valley and been happy with the results.

I’ve spent a few days this last week recreating characters and scenes from Harem and would like to share them with you all for feedback.  Not as much as technical issues like clipping and lighting, but what you think about the models replace the 3dcg models and the mechanics of the scenes.  And what you’d think if I were to use a more photo-realistic imager instead of the more anime-styled 3dcg or CMD32

 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cXciZhrLhNF8yF4WG4w5A2lQCg4794NQ/view?usp=sharing

Last of the unreleased scenes

 A few more scenes for you all, these had been written and imaged just not coded so I took a bit of time to stitch them together in VX.  While I have some partially written scenes my install of 3DCG didn't survive my attempt so I can't create any more images.  Recreating the installation/mods/hardsaves or switching to another imager would be a significant time investment so these will be the end of the unreleased scenes being released.

Link

Unreleased Scenes

 I'm releasing a few scenes that I got done during a few semi-functional periods after 8m7.  It's a standalone so you don't need to import any saves or replay files from an existing game to see them, just start a new game and it should give you a choice of the 4 scenes included (Baylie and Leona's capture scene, a progression scene for Eleanor, and Donnie/Tomas's next "conquest").  Enjoy!

Download

Note:  This does not mean I'm restarting development.  I had some things completed from before and spent an hour dropping them into a standalone package, no more no less.

Yes, I’m alive. Although it was close for a while there.

It has been years since I’ve posted here, and I feel like I should explain what happened. For a sense of closure on both sides if nothing else. I have referenced issues with my mental health before; I have a family history of depression, anxiety, and ADHD. But I never really could face the fact that I had at least two of the three, nor the courage necessary to address it properly, so it was untreated for most of my life. Part of the way I was raised I guess, one side of my family struggled with mental illnesses and the other considered mental illness a sign of weakness. Something that could be ignored if one was just strong enough and focused on what was outside of them instead of inside. I’ll give you one guess on which side I was raised by.

I had lived with it for many years, in retrospect I can clearly see dips in and out of depression and the way my quality of life was hurt by unacknowledged both the depressions and anxiety issues. But mostly I was able to deal with it, I’d have a depressive episode that lasted for a few weeks, maybe a few months, before the normal course of life helped me back out of it. Then I started working on H. While I truly enjoyed my time working on the game, it was extremely isolating. First as in simple physical isolation, working from home with my only contacts being through a discord window was not a healthy way to live. But it was also socially isolating in the sense I was never comfortable talking about my creation with local friends and family. Which triggered even more anxiety which encouraged even more isolation. Which triggered even more anxiety and depression. And I’ve always struggled with negative self-talk/automatic negative thoughts. The only voice I heard was my own and it was always hostile, reinforcing the downward spiral.

 

Which is what happened to me. By 2019 I had pretty much cut myself off from most of the people dear to me, almost all of my interactions through a discord window or hearing myself tear myself apart. I was already in a deep depression well before COVID hit, suddenly the isolation and distance I had already imposed on myself became part of the public good and the bottom fell out of my mind. I could barely get up and feed myself, struggling with the basics and even just getting out of bed every morning. On my good days it was all I could do to maybe go for a walk, get groceries, and move funds around so I could pay rent for another month. Bad days, of which there was many, I couldn’t even leave the apartment. Was just dead inside while I watched the world go by. And I spent years like that until the money finally ran out and I had to choose to live or die. I had already convinced myself that my life wasn’t worth living so I attempted suicide.

 

Fortunately, I woke up finding myself in a bloody bathroom and finally had a moment of clarity. I called 911 and was brought to a nearby ER where I spent a week under 24 hour supervision while they found a mental hospital that was able to take me in. I spent nearly a month there, working with therapists and peers trying to put my mind back together. Helping me find reason to live, effective medications, and reconnect with my family. Fortunately my family has been incredibly supportive and took me back in while I continued my treatment. Another month in a Partial Hospitalization Program where I was in therapy for 30+ hours every week understanding my own mind, developing skills to counteract my own self-destructive thoughts, and talking with my peers struggling with their own mental health. Most of whom are also suicide survivors, helping me to realize that my struggles aren’t unique and there are methods that genuinely help. I am now down to an Intensive Outpatient Program, 10 hours per week, and am working to rebuild my life. Which will take quite a while; my physical, emotional, social, and financial health were all nearly destroyed through neglect and self-sabotage. I’m growing more confident I will succeed every day, even being able to write this to you all is a major step in my recovery.

 

Which is one of the reasons I’m writing this. Partially because I think you all deserve to know what happened to me, partially because its part of my own healing process, and because hopefully it will be a cautionary tale for anyone who reads it. Take your mental health seriously. There is no shame in seeking help for mental health issues, no more than there would be in going to the hospital if you broke your leg. Both can absolutely destroy your quality of life and both are treatable. So if you struggle with depression, self-esteem/image issues, anxiety or anything else, please seek help. Things can get better if you can get yourself to a point where you can just ask for it, that I am sure of.

 

Ker